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Oh, search functions are fun, aren’t they?  And I have had some stellar ones come through recently.  I really wish I knew something about the people that ended up at Exercising Monsters when they popped these gems into Google; I would also love to know what they thought of the site, since – without exception – they did not find what they were looking for here.

ice skate+man:  This is half of the equation that reads:  ice skate + man – hockey stick = spandex outfits + moving instrumental versions of Celine Dion ballads.  Serves me right for ever mentioning Evgeni Plushenko.

he pleasure is mine:  No, it isn’t.  He pleasure may be yours, but mine pleasure is for mine use, or for wife as her need it.

told baby looks small in 5 week ultrasound:  Did someone need to tell you that?  How fast do you think babies grow?  And why are you confiding this with the internet?

old walkmans with radio insert:  The plural is “walkmen,” thank you very much.

homer naked:  I only have a nude Simpson on my sight.  You were probably looking for the ancient Greek writer, and I’m not sure that many of his nudes are available these days.

“randy pausch” jerk:  He really wasn’t a jerk at all, from what I can tell.  But the quotation marks make me think that you were just ticked off at Google that day, like you were saying, “Look this up, jerkhole, and don’t give me any attitude.”

asexual elaphants:  It’s his choice, and I respect it.  Leave the poor elaphant alone.

tied up stuffed animal diaper:  If you just fold over the Velcro flaps, it will stay shut just fine.  No need to tie it up to keep in the stuffed-animal poop.

ripped teddy bear street:  Where the down-and-out teddy bears go to eke out a living by selling their stuffing for crack.

the far side don’t open:  Then leave it the hell shut.

evgeni plushenko wife:   Ha!  I think not.

Get out of my life, you barefoot freak!

sample thank you speech to my wife:  If you need a sample of what to say about your wife in a thank you speech to her, you have big problems, my friend.  Based on this search, I would start with, “Thank you for marrying such a hopeless clod such as myself.”  Sprinkle the rest of the speech liberally with the words “pity,” “understanding,” and “marrying down.”

zachery ty bryan barefoot pics:  The term “fetish” doesn’t begin to describe your predilections, weirdo.