Yep, swallowing my pride. I’m sorry that I am such a grumpy so-and-so. And I’m sorry that I have been lazy and haven’t been blogging properly. My last few posts have been… how shall I put this… crappy. They have been what I like to call “throwaway posts,” quick and dirty like the love that you get from certain women of negotiable affections.
Part of it is genuine time constraints. I have been busy with a number of projects and it has been hard for me to care enough about writing to make the time to get to it. Sitting down in front of the computer and trying – really trying – to make something worth reading takes effort, much as I usually enjoy it.
I blog because I have to regularly write. It’s a sickness. I need to be creative with words, and spending an entire summer doing nothing but writing probably made it worse. It reminded me how much I obsess over the ability to communicate well. Blogging is a reasonable therapy for this because it forces me to write on nearly a daily basis. Writing another novel is too daunting to even consider at the moment, and I wouldn’t have a deadline, a commitment, hanging over me to force me to get at the keyboard.
But as with any regular exercise, sometimes you start to get lazy with it. The routine that forced you to get to the gym is the same one that bores you into half-assed effort after a while.
Now the question I have to ask is this: Do I need to change it up?
Has this run its course for me? Is blogging three times a week too much to expect with a rambunctious 9-month-old, a full time job, and a basement crying out for serious renovation?
I don’t know.
If I’m going to do it, I want to do it well. The shelves I just put up in the garage are clear evidence of this. I used brackets rated to 500 lbs each, and I used three of them per eight-foot length. The shelves themselves are built from solid 2x4s and the whole thing has been lagged to the studs with no fewer than twelve six-inch bolts. (That, by the way, is the way that a Stirling builds just about everything.)
I need to take the weekend to think about how I will proceed. This isn’t worth doing if my heart isn’t in it.