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(Based on a true story.)

Man: I need a list of things that you want for Christmas.

Woman: What?

Man: You know, like the one that I wrote for you.  You asked me for a list of things that I wanted for Christmas, so I wrote them all down for you along with the stores where they are the cheapest.  Can you do that for me?

Woman: Why?  You know what stuff I like.

Man: I guess, but I would feel a lot more comfortable with a list of things that I know that you want.

Woman: Oh, you don’t need that.  Just some clothes would be nice.

Man: What kind of clothes?

Woman: You know, nice clothes.  Good colours.  Fun stuff and fancy stuff.

Man: (Long pause.)  What stores?

Woman: Oh, there are lots that I shop at.  Some of those ones.

Man: Okay, name a few of them.

Woman: Then it won’t be a surprise!  Just pick some of them and I’m sure you can find some nice pieces.

Man: So shirts?  Skirts?  Pants?  Shoes?  What do you want?

Woman: Any of those would be fine.

Man: But which ones in particular do you want?

Woman: Surprise me.

Man: You know what this is like, don’t you?  This is like me saying, “Why don’t you just buy some electronics this year?  You’ve seen me use them before.  I like things with buttons from places that have a lot of sound and video in them.  Screens are nice too; if you can find some electronics with screens I might like that.  But you don’t have to.  You know, stuff that does stuff when you push things, or swipe things, or scroll things.  Maybe it has lights on it, but it doesn’t have to.  Just surprise me with something that requires a power source, either AC or battery.”  That’s what it’s like.  That’s how hard you are making this for me.

Woman: (Very long pause.)  So should I get you a gift certificate for one of these places?

Man: Sure.  Can I get you one for your stores?

Woman: No.

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