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The pizza is Toronto, and Rob Ford is a monstrous eating force. It's a pretty easy metaphor, really.

I don’t know who my mayor is.  Shameful, I know.  I didn’t even vote in the recent municipal elections.  And before you start in with your clichéd, “If you don’t vote you don’t get to complain!” spiel, I will point out to you that the logical conclusion of that argument is flawed.  If you voted for a fat, blithering, wife-beating idiot (like Rob Ford, the new mayor of Toronto), then you don’t have the right to complain when he slashes every service down to tiny ribbons of inadequacy.  You, the moron that voted for him, can’t whine about his bad decisions.


In fact, if you voted for someone that didn’t win, you still really can’t complain because there isn’t conclusive proof that your candidate would have done anything differently or better than the dumb-face that made it into office.  You can only object over hypothetical things like you’re brainstorming for your alternate history blog fiction, and nobody likes to hear, read, or think about that crap.

Really, by not voting I am acknowledging the fact that I know nothing about my own municipal issues or the candidates attempting to fix them.  Voting would be adding a random variable to the equation of the election that is more likely to pick a dummy than a genius.  My father knows half of the candidates in his riding personally, so his vote is actually informed by what he thinks of each of them.  If anything, his vote should count for more than mine.

Maybe voters should be forced to pass a basic skills test before their ballot gets counted.  If I have to do it on order to claim a scratch-and-win prize from MacDonald’s, why not for things that actually matter?

Argh!  I just heard my democratic humanist personality start screaming at my pragmatic cynic, and I’m reminded that the right to vote is fundamental to fair government so I shouldn’t be so quick to take it away.  Fine, maybe idiots get one vote but the politically informed can get two or three instead.  The few deserving can decide for the many that aren’t.

That whooshing noise you can hear right now is political freedom sliding down a very, very slippery slope…