I miss having friends at work.
I remember that job I had way back in the day, the one where I loved going in because the people there were people I wanted to hang out with. I remember how I ignored the low pay and the crappy hours and the fact that some people would regularly threaten me or yell at me, and I kept going back because I knew that I had a solid bunch of guys and girls that would be good for a beer after my shift ended.
I think that the crappiness of the job made the friends even better for me. We bonded over the sheer absurdity of it all. We knew that we were in the same leaky, fishy boat together. Times were good.
Now I have a good job. But I have no friends there.
Stop. Do not tell me that I will eventually make friends there. Don’t tell me that it always takes time to get to know people and that they have all worked together before and that I am the only new person there. We’re some six weeks in and there is no headway there. No one eats in the staffroom, everyone is the wrong age, and I’m pretty sure that everyone thinks that I am an idiot. Fair enough, but they shouldn’t make it so obvious when they talk to me.
Is this the way it goes? I’m getting paid like a professional adult in a stable organization so I have to give up friends? Damn. Tough call.
It isn’t that I don’t have a lot of great friends that are not associated with my work, but I get to see them intermittently at best, and likely less than that even. Work friends were great to have because they were there day in and day out. They were easy. They were comfortable. They satisfied a social need that I am now feeling is not being met.
Or maybe I’m just so socially stupid that I haven’t realized how I managed to ostracize myself from the entire staff all at once. Was I picking my nose during an assembly? Did I accidentally punch one of the women? Did I commit some highly specific faux-pas for this particular region of Ontario, like wearing brown shoes or whistling between 9:05 and 9:10?
Hard to say. I’m feeling desperate. Yesterday’s attempts at blackmail failed miserably. I’m going to try bribery tomorrow and hope for the best.