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My Aunt Anne is a hoot.  She used to worry her head off when my brother and I were left alone at my Dad’s place in the country (which happened weekly), so to calm herself she would leave us long messages about how much she trusts us.  She would then contradict herself by offering to come over and take care of us if anything – ANYTHING – should come up, or even if we just wanted a meal cooked for us.  One time she got cut off by the machine twice before she finished her message, and by the third segment she had started to cry.  I wish I had a transcript of that one to share.

I’m thinking of this because a friend of mine just left me a killer message the other day.  It goes as follows.

Hello Stirlings.  It is (name removed to protect the caller).  It is about 5 to 11.   I’m just checking to see if we are still doing the plan of doing the walkabout at the… uh… airplane heritage museum in… I guess it was… is it off of highway 6?

Either way this is a message, and this is a really stupid message.  So anyway, give me a shout back.  If we’re going to go today, we can definitely do that.  If not we can make time next week or something like that, and hopefully we can get there before we move away, but that’s still a long ways away.

Anyway, I’m leaving now.  I am disgusted with this message.  Good bye.

This is a close second to my all time favourite message that we once received.  She left this message with the delivery of a professor reading a poem.

Hi Erin, it’s (name removed to protect the caller).

I can’t stop eating chocolate,

No matter what I do.

I can’t stop eating chocolate.

Call me back.