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I don't care how super-smart you are, Tony Stark, you can't manufacture working high-tech prototypes in 15 minutes. Jeez!

I was sure that it would work.

Erin and I went to the movies on Sunday in order to try to draw out Baby.  The way I saw it, going somewhere with strict time constraints and no refund policy should have been as surefire way to force Baby’s hand.  Surely she would decided to try to come out while we were in the middle of Iron Man 2, thereby giving us a fun labour story and giving me a good excuse to go see it in the theatres again.

No dice.

Baby did kick a whole heck of a lot.  At one point during the movie I could distinctly count each of her toes from the outside.  But there was no labour-like movement at all.  Not even one contraction.

The movie was decent, at least.  Not brilliant, not terrible, but decent and entertaining.  Robert Downey Jr. is great at making just about anything enjoyable, and Gwyneth Paltrow is nice to look at (sorry, but Scarlett Johansson is as dull as dirt, bosoms or no), and there are wonderfully fun fighting robots and armoured suits and all.

But there is one thing that drives me absolutely nuts in the Iron Man franchise.

Remember Michael Crichton?  Remember how he built a massive readership on books that – while entertaining – played fast and loose with science and technology?  I remember reading these books and, even when I was a kid, having part of my brain screaming at me that he was proposing ludicrous things in his novels, things that even the most ambitious interpretations of modern science would find hard to hold.  He was very much an author of “soft science,” a term that can be applied in a literary sense to a weak application of real scientific knowledge and principals in favour of story or action.

Well, if Michael Crichton employed “soft science,” the science from Iron Man 2 would dribble out through cheese cloth.  I understand the need to create a degree of dramatic tension by employing time constraints and dire consequences, but when the main character creates a new element in five hours using scavenged piping from his house and a ratchet set, a little part of my inner writer dies.  I shouldn’t have to point out that the majority of the elements at the end of the periodic table barely exist long enough to be identified in the most elegantly delicate laboratory setups, and they sure as hell don’t stick around long enough to be used a power source for a supersuit, but I guess that’s just me being a bit of a stickler.

So, go see Iron Man 2 as long as you aren’t a fussy scientist, a realist engineer, or a couple looking for a movie so fantastical that it will push out baby by its improbability alone.

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