Well, the first day of work as a new supply is now in the books. I am officially working again. It also went surprisingly well, considering I had no idea what to expect going into it. The kids were great, the staff was nice, and the building was about 100 years old, which made it wicked-cool.
It makes me wonder why I have such vicious anxiety attacks before these first days at things. I even had one when I started volunteering (read about it here). I feel like my over-wrought brain needs to cut me some slack when I’m not being paid to do something.
I don’t fully remember the strange dreams that plagued me all of last night, but I think that it was the usual milieu of the following:
- I am late for work because I slept through my alarm. If I wake up at this point, I usually sit bolt upright, searching frantically for the time (which is generally around 3:00 or 4:00 AM). Occasionally I fall out of bed. I always swear.
- I can’t find the building and I didn’t bring directions. This (I’m sure) manifests itself because of my notoriously poor sense of direction. Of course, in my dream world none of the roads follow basic rules of physics, and they all seem to change radically based on what I ate before going to bed (see more about that here).
- I get lost in the building itself. The night before my first day, I always seem to convince myself that the place I’m going will have been designed by M. C. Escher, complete with stairs on the ceiling and waterways that always run uphill. When consulting the building’s directory, none of the names match up with the ones I’ve been given.
- No one will listen to me. In spite of the fact that I have never encountered a class that I couldn’t deal with eventually, no one listens to me in my dreams. I yell, beg, threaten, cry, and call in reinforcements, but I am always faced with a group of students that stubbornly refuse to do anything but talk amongst themselves and occasionally turn into werewolves.
- I’m naked. I don’t think that I’ve ever gone out without clothing myself. Why I fear this so badly that it occurs in all of my anxiety dreams, I really can’t say.
I think that last night featured a bit from all five of these. I was late, lost, disoriented, inept, and pantsless. It was a typical night before yet another first day.