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Canada's Worst Driver

Canada's Worst Driver. Exposing Canada's trashy underbelly for five years.

#1:  “Canada’s Worst Driver.”

Episode 1 of season 5 was on last night.  I’m not the world’s best driver – not by a long stretch – but you could run down the elderly for fun and be better than all of the contestants put together.  Times 2.  It also helps that most of them seem to be suffering from a severe case of the stupids, a disease even more tragic when combined with non-existent reflexes and absolutely no spatial sense.  And most of them dress like People of Walmart.

#2:  95% of the other blogs out there.

(If you are linked to this site, you are automatically in the good 5%.  If you aren’t, clearly you are exactly what I’m talking about.)  WordPress has this nifty little program called TagSurfer.  Following in the internet trend of programs deciding what I want to read (instead of me deciding for myself, like a chump), TagSurfer uses my own posts to direct me to other blogs that I might find interesting.

Wow, they missed the mark on that one.  Understanding that I am neither published nor widely read (and therefore no great author), I present to you a representative piece from one of the blogs to which I was sent:

“I haven’t lost yet, fool,” She charged her blade guns with positrons and shot positron blasts on them. The missiles were exploded. He teleported to her back, but she quickly spun around and he was both slashed by the blades and the blasts. He quickly teleported himself away and healed himself.

“This is ridiculous. How can she do that while she is exhausted?” He charged his esquadria and shot the missiles again. This time, she dashed in an arc to avoid them. She let the water aura seep inside her body and changed them into her aura reserves and stamina. Suddenly, the attack was stopped as his esquadria was jammed.

Personally, I would really like to know how I can let my own water aura seep inside my body.  But maybe only women can do that.  (I debated posting the URL to that particular blog, but I think it would likely do more harm than good.)

#3:  Beatles Rock Band.

You wish you were a rock star.  Admit it.  Every one has a little part of them that does. Even though I can kind of play guitar and carry a tune (as long as I don’t have to carry it very far, and as long as there aren’t too many hills or deep valleys, or potholes, and the road is paved nicely), I long since abandoned the idea of a career in music.  Rock Band saved that dream, and then – in true dream fashion – added random people and my family to the band.  Pretending to be a Beatle is more fun with flashy graphics and animations, although I keep getting relegated to the drums, so I’m suddenly the ugly one in the band.

Just like in real life.  😦